Survival Tactics For Eigth Grade

1. Learn How To Spell "eigth" correctly. Eihgth? Eighth. Igth.

2. Learn How To Spell "twelth" correctly. Twelfh Tweltfh.

3. Learn To Teleport (so I can visualize a classroom and just appear there)

4. Get Over My Irrational Fear Of Sixth Graders. *twitch* Yes I know I was a sixth grader once. *twitch*

5. Drink A Lot Of Caffine.

6. Try Not To Overthink Things (because if I do my brain will implode.)

7. Try Not To Drown While Swimming.

8. Try Not To Die in PE.

9. Try Not To Die in Social Studies.

10. Try Not to Die Of Suffication.

11. Buy Mule For Carrying Binders.

12. Tape Eyelids Back So It Will Look Like I am Awake.

13. Buy Foghorn. (For frightening 6th Graders. away. BWAHA.)

14. Do Not Drown In Locker.

15. Do Not Suffocate in Locker

16. Do Not Try to Fit In Locker, Period.

17. Do Not Eat Cafeteria Mystery Meat.

18. Do Not Eat New Principal.

19. Do Not Eat New Band Teacher.

20. Just Hitchhike to Narnia, Gosh.